Conflicts between friends happen to everyone. An argument does not mean that the friendship is broken; on the contrary, if properly managed, these disagreements can strengthen your relationships. Here is a practical guide to dealing with conflicts, understanding their normality, and using 3 key phrases to ease the situation.
Why Are Conflicts Between Friends Normal?
A healthy friendship is based on communication and authenticity. It is therefore normal for disagreements to occur when your needs, values, or expectations differ. The main thing is not to avoid conflicts, but to approach them with respect and openness. They are often opportunities to better understand each other and to grow together.
Before the Talk: Prepare Mentally
- Calm your emotions : Take a moment to breathe and clear your thoughts before starting the discussion.
- Remember your intention : The aim is to repair the relationship, not to “win” the argument.
During the Discussion: The 3 Key Phrases to Use
- “I feel...”
Start by describing your emotions without blaming the other person. Using “I” instead of “You” helps to prevent the friend from feeling attacked.Example: “I feel sad when I don't feel listened to in our conversations.” - “I understand that you...”
Recognizing the emotions of the other person shows that you are ready to listen and understand. This often deescalates tensions.Example: “I understand that you were frustrated with what I said, and I'm sorry if it hurt you.” - “I suggest that we...”
Offer constructive solutions to move forward together. It shows your willingness to find common ground.Example: “I suggest that we communicate more openly next time to avoid these kinds of misunderstandings.”
Recognizing the Signs of a Toxic Friendship
Isolated conflict is healthy, but if arguments become frequent or leave you feeling consistently unwell, it's important to assess the relationship.
Warning signs :
- You feel belittled or criticized all the time.
- Your friend is minimizing your feelings or manipulating your emotions.
- The relationship is one-sided and you don't feel supported.
In these cases, taking a step back or talking to a professional can help you see things more clearly.
An argument between friends should not be seen as a failure, but as a chance to improve your relationship. By engaging in calm and constructive communication, you can turn disagreements into moments of growth. Test these 3 key phrases during your next conflict and see the difference. A solid friendship also means knowing how to weather storms together.
